Melly got me a fly fishing class for me birthday and I went to it Saturday morning. I learned how to cast and hook. I like it as a sport because it seems so much more like art. It takes skill and finess just to cast. Asked me later if I still like it after I catch something the first time. I’ve done loads of music, learned to string my guitar. All these things made me happy when I was doing them but the more things I do to stay active, the lonelier I feel. I don’t know if it’s in the doing it alone or just not having anyone to share it with when I’ve done it. I just feel this enormous low when I am driving home like I’ve lost something along the way. It’s a really anoying emotion.

At least I am fine when I am at home. I watch movies, spend time on the computer, play on my guitar, work, whatever it is I am fine.

I’ve started yoga again. I like it better doing it at home. I am more at ease then having to perform in some class. I hate line dancing for the same reason…having to follow the steps and do it like everyone else lest you be run over in the process. I like dancing when it comes from within… the sound moves you from your heart and out.

What moves you?

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