Melly got me a fly fishing class for me birthday and I went to it Saturday morning. I learned how to cast and hook. I like it as a sport because it seems so much more like art. It takes skill and finess just to cast. Asked me later if I still like it after I catch something the first time. I’ve done loads of music, learned to string my guitar. All these things made me happy when I was doing them but the more things I do to stay active, the lonelier I feel. I don’t know if it’s in the doing it alone or just not having anyone to share it with when I’ve done it. I just feel this enormous low when I am driving home like I’ve lost something along the way. It’s a really anoying emotion.
At least I am fine when I am at home. I watch movies, spend time on the computer, play on my guitar, work, whatever it is I am fine.
I’ve started yoga again. I like it better doing it at home. I am more at ease then having to perform in some class. I hate line dancing for the same reason…having to follow the steps and do it like everyone else lest you be run over in the process. I like dancing when it comes from within… the sound moves you from your heart and out.
What moves you?
Today was one of strange enchantments…snow, family, christmas presents under a tree, all those things familiar like a picture postcard. But equally unique because it is in all my favorite colors. David’s my blue. As stepdads go, he’s my favorite shade. Mom’s my vibrant and demanding red, full of blush and passion yet not quite able to blend with the other colors. Drew and Kate are a wonderful natural shade of bluish green. One day they too will be like their dad. The cousins are muted and undefined pastels. When I know them better, I’ll better understand their appeal. And Aunt Bunny a special rainbow of colors which I appreciate because of my personal connection to its symbolism but am often unable to understand it true meaning.
All in all it was a good day. I got some wonderful gifts…
Lego’s…of course. I am amasing quite a collection
a glass tipped writing tool and ink well for journaling…mom’s special gift.
jewelry…made and designed by my aunt bunny
a hemp necklace…made by my cousin haley
my stocking held mulitiple ornaments…my mom was listening close I tell you.
and my stocking had such useful items as camping toilet paper, a new razor, etc…mom is nothing if not practical.
autographed sports memorbilia…david’s selection. Go Indians!
and the big ticket item…
A new Palm Tungsten…way to go mom!
Mom and I put the lego’s together this evening while listening to the new surround sound system david got her. I also showed her the brilliance of the new palm and will give her my palm 505 now that I have this new one.
Aunt Bunny is very eclectic. She has a great eye for bargins and my style which is far from eclectic. So, I also take with me a box of goodwill clothes.
Tomorrow it all returns to normal. Therefore, tomorrow I build a snowman.