I have a dream
I had this dream…and it was me and a musician. Usually I am not me in my dreams and the musician wasn’t familiar. I knew everyone else in my dream. To Jung this would mean that they were not really people I know only that those people represent something to me. To Freud it would only be some form of p. envy. HA! Maybe that was an oversimplification of their theories.
I kissed her forehead. She smiled up at me. We walked out the door and I carried her guitar. When we got into the car, neither of us was driving. I was thinking that it was nice just to sit and pay attention to her. She was paying attention to me. We were talking about the evening, telling old stories simply reminiscing about our lives. We were getting to know each other.
Suddenly we were in an outdoor park. She began setting up. It was just her and her guitar. When she was done, she came over and sat effortlessly on my lap. I expected her to be more distant in public. She began to softly kiss my neck. As if on cue the reporter walked up though she did not move from my lap. The reporter (who was familiar to me) eyed me with curiosity, “so there is a rumor that last week you were out with” (now I can’t recall the name but I knew her to be someone famous). My girl just laughed and said ‘no; that for once the reporter was wrong. She saw that the reporter was curious about me but she said nothing save a brief thank you. I saw in her eyes that the reporter did not believe. I smiled in confirmation that I was just a friend but I felt a momentary twinge of regret. She was going to break my heart and I was going to let her.
When she returned her attention to me, she explained that the rumors would always be rumors. She kissed me softly and stood without another word. I watched her walk away. She played and sang while walking amongst the crowd. She played only a few songs. The last was new to me. (I can not remember what it was about though. I could have written a song in my dream but I can not recall even its subject this morning.) When she finished she stopped for a brief moment as the crowd applauded her to look at me. A flash of something registered on her face. I was expecting her to pack and walk past me thinking I would have to follow and pretend I was only another member of the audience. But she proved me wrong in my assumptions. She grabbed her case, walk to me and reached for my hand. She took it up in hers and we walked out together as the others look after us.
In their eyes, she has a girlfriend now. She put her case away and we spent a brief few moments alone. I did not ask any questions. I was going to make the moments last as long as I could. Like she was some shooting star only in my sight for an instant. But she was acting different. She was still holding my hand, kissing me and walking with me. She explained that we had to go back because she had to attend a workshop where people would be asking her about her music. “It will be over soon. Then we can leave,” she said. I was happy. She was saying we and she was not leaving me behind.
And she did not leave me behind. I sat next to her during the session. She worked. I watched. In a slight twist as often happens in dream land, as quickly as she was in the workshop, she was just as quickly helping police stop a guy from stealing a helmet. Now I ask what the hell was that supposed to mean? Then with another twist. She was in front of me. My arms were wrapped around her. Her back against my chest. I was kissing her cheek. We were laughing. I was introducing her to people I knew. All the while thinking no one is going to believe I am with her.
And then I woke up…