a seemingly unsuccessful two weeks

…but with light at the end of the tunnel.

I am finally done with the board for this year. I had a blow-out last week with a couple of members over our competitor. I spent the last two days hand-feeding as much information as I could without being mad that they don’t do this work for themselves. I have emerged on the other side unscathed. It’s the first time in four years that I felt uncomfortable in my job. A time where stress and dissention were the order of the day. Where I thought, “I am doing too much of the work”. Politics dictated restraint. I had to find creative ways to say what I needed to say without saying harsh truths. I was made to be more direct. Maybe I got my point across. Maybe they knew what I was saying. I have never been good at masking my emotions anyway. My face betrays me time and time again. But, now it’s done. Now things will return to the familar. Now, I am sitting as comfortably as before.

So yesterday, I raced out of my two day (of sitting on my ass) meeting, threw everything in the back of the car and road tripped my way to Austin just in time to catch Suz’s show at the Cactus and ply myself with some beer to relax before taking on a couple of legislators and the department of health this morning. The show was good. I am always surprised at how seeing music in small venues makes me happy. I could say it over and over again in a thousand different ways, watching a great musician mixed with the sweet voice and sweet words will always be my favorite. I’ll simply say this is a good thing. I remembered I have feelings. I remembered what it feels like to feel like a girl and mostly I remembered I have places and people that make me happy. On daily basis I find I can easily forget all that. It’s nice to be reminded.

On my trip back to Dallas today I was astounded at the number of highway patrol, sheriff and police cars along the road. I saw over twelve cars in the space of my trip up the I-35 corridor. Mostly on the northbound side I should add. At least half where searching vehicles and at one particular spot there where seven cars with rotating lights stopped behind the search of one Large Cadillac SUV. What did they know today? What were they looking for today?