I’ve been trying to figure out why I haven’t been creating much lately. I have finally decided that I have simply lost the muse.
Maybe I just put on a shelf and I forgot where I left it like I do so often with my keys or my glasses.
Maybe I’ve drowned it in so much TV and internet that it’s sunk to the bottom of a visual abyss and my feeble attempts to touch the murky bottom are just that weak.
Maybe it walked away from me because I wasn’t shiny and new and unconditional anymore.
Maybe it because I starting taking money for it and it’s no longer free…
The question then… do I search for the old muse and try to figure out what it was and where I left it? Or, do I seek out a new muse? Both take work to find and work when you find it. The old is familiar but you keep the baggage. The new lets you start fresh but you start from zero and have to build from scratch. I guess an obvious third option is just to sit back and hope one appears like magic with no effort. Oh, and then I thought a fourth might be that it’s not lost and I am still creating. I am just doing a piss poor job of documenting it.
Because, I write in my head all the time and see pictures of moments everywhere. Unfortunately, I am not capturing those moments. It’s too bad there’s not a record button on the side of my head or a camera in my eyeball to freeze the moment. Now, I remember to raise the camera too late only to catch the moment after. Even 140 characters is too much to scratch out these days. I suspect I should start with being more intentional about the time I commit to my creative efforts. It would be nice if it was that simple. I was writing about being intentional earlier in the year. Maybe I was just foreshadowing this moment in my own life.
So, my resolution for 2010 is to be more intentional … about everything.