When I was young, if someone had told me as I approached 40 years old that I would be starting over from scratch in my personal relationship, I’d have laughed them away, believing that by now, I would have built something of substance. Believing that what I made would be solid, and true, and unwavering. Believing. As I’ve grown older and experienced more of life and love, my view has certainly changed, but I don’t think I ever doubted that my life would be much more settled and committed by now. Sigh.
But now here I am, staring down the barrel of 40, back in what is essentially a kiddie pool that sometimes feels more like swimming the English Channel.
With distance from the end of my last relationship, I find myself in a very different place than before I entered it. What I entered into some six-plus years ago was safe and comfortable, but I lacked sufficient heart to hold any of it together. One set is rarely strong enough to hold the weight of two. However, its hold allowed me precious time to heal, repair, and remember what is important about life. For that, I will be forever grateful.
With the caution of 40 but the optimism of 20, I am having my own renaissance. Dating, being happy, saying yes when I used to say no, not being afraid to make mistakes, learning new life lessons, and being free with my emotions is incredibly rewarding. And it ups the romance factor considerably. Instead of rare moments, almost every day holds something special and unique. It’s exhausting and a juggling act but worth every serenaded walk in a downtown square, bubble bath, and even the bumps and bruises along the way.
Dare to be happy. the romance and adventure are totally worth it…
Dixie's Road Trip 