a trip to the north

It’s getting close now, this escape to the north. And the timing will be perfect. The heat of July, the heat of summer, will finally return to Texas and I will be standing at the edge of a once vast glacier and thinking I need blue like that in my life…blue water, blue skies, blue flowers, and blue eyes.

Can I really imagine the full grandeur of it? It remains to be seen. I know I’ll love it and I’ll fall in love with it. I am thinking about the dream I had once last October when I was drifting in the middle of the ocean. The dream of you on the end of the pier, and the slow turn, the ease I felt seeing you and that familiar place in the background. That’s what I think Montana looks and feels like for me. Am I setting myself up for disappointment allowing all this expectation? How can you deny the anticipation of a place called the Grand Tetons or Glacier National Park? I am thinking about the way water really gets blue when it freezes and warms and freezes all over, again and again. I am thinking about bears in the wild and places where the deer and the antelope really play. I am thinking about the Gibson’s on Flathead lake and the Blackfoot river and high country and low country and the scene from that movie where the guy runs off the end of the dock and into the water.

I wasn’t excited until they said, yes we are going still. Then, we began to talk about the places, the things each of us wanted to see. For the first time in some time, I began to feel excited. Something rattled in my chest and tightened. My eyes teared just a bit as my hands shook just a bit more. I knew then that I was going to be there.

I am going to be there.

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