Simplistic. Basic. Simplistic words, basic emotions. I make things harder somehow…taking on the thinking that all must be good to have value. This is complicated and not so very simple is it? There is a weighty, fine line between selfishness and being devoid of self. I am not inherently good, am I? I am selfish. This should be accepted and announced with pride but I no longer feel i should define things about myself for others in my life. And frankly, right now I don’t even have the desire. Figure it out yourself I think. In the end it doesn’t make things any easier I guess.
‘Take me up’, I want to say. I’ll crush you with my arms and let my heart pound you into submission or just simply lull you to sleep. I’ll release you over and over again to feel the weight of you crashing back into me…hard and then soft and then hard again because it feels good and I want that feeling. I want it all but only from the exacting will I allow it. Only from the particular I say again loudly. I will be firm. I will be precise. I will not be for anyone else.