My memory lane is cracked and un level.
Just yesterday I walked through my old home.
Familiar yet unfamiliar.
I wonder if her someone new notices all the
small reminders of the old me.
And now, today, the football game is on the radio and I am once again transported to my past.
Where she is in the living room
wondering who I am now and why we were never together.
After thirteen years of friendship shrouded in mysteries and unspoken attraction.
She always single, me never willing to cross the boundary of…what I don’t know.
Women of my past haunt me.
That is what they call history.
This afternoon I’ll be headed to Vegas.
It’s bright lights and sin.
Face to face with the woman I desire, a woman of my history and the woman who employs me.
Women surround me.
My present is wrapped with pretty paper and a bright bow. My own gift.
I am imagining holding my desire.
No words…only the click of a hotel key.
The flush of a realized crush would be a dream.
And so much unlike me.
Women are a a big unknown.
My future is a big mystery.