memory lane

My memory lane is cracked and un level.

Just yesterday I walked through my old home.
Familiar yet unfamiliar.
I wonder if her someone new notices all the
small reminders of the old me.

And now, today, the football game is on the radio and I am once again transported to my past.
Where she is in the living room
wondering who I am now and why we were never together.
After thirteen years of friendship shrouded in mysteries and unspoken attraction.
She always single, me never willing to cross the boundary of…what I don’t know.

Women of my past haunt me.
That is what they call history.

This afternoon I’ll be headed to Vegas.
It’s bright lights and sin.
Face to face with the woman I desire, a woman of my history and the woman who employs me.

Women surround me.
My present is wrapped with pretty paper and a bright bow. My own gift.

I am imagining holding my desire.
No words…only the click of a hotel key.
The flush of a realized crush would be a dream.
And so much unlike me.

Women are a a big unknown.
My future is a big mystery.

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