break-up

Nothing like a break-up to give you a reason to make some changes. I mean you might as well. There’s already such a big change, might as well make all the other changes at the same time. So, I went and bought myself a new car and I am moving. Going to try communal living in the city for awhile. I miss my country abode but it will be cheaper and closer to the world.

You haven’t been back to the house. I’m still trying to reconcile why you get to be the victim. I was kinda hoping that might be me for once. I know you’re out of work but I told you I’d help  for another month. It’s not like you’re destitute. I’ll be paying a long time after yu’re gone. For you it’s easy… get a job, no more debt then when you came to me in November without a job. Maybe it’s just that I have already reordered my life that has you pissed off. But that’s me!

I’d like to fall apart too. But then who would really be there to pick up the pieces? Only me. I have allowed myself to have an emotional swing set some over the last few days. I feel safer with my new friends in doing so. Maybe they’ll think that I am really that way. They’ll see the me that has emotions and then I’ll be allowed to have them in the future without it tarnishing some image I only imagine I have. Of course I don’t know if I let go of it all what would really happen.

Would I be free or would there be nothing left of me? ( I smell a poem).

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