when all else fails, go to the movies

Last week. Last week. This week….a whole new year in between.

New Mexico and back home…a whole new year in between. Home smells funny like it always does when I go away. I walked in the door this evening and was greeted by one happy dog though. It’s nice to be missed.

I’ve only been here an hour and all I have been doing is walking around here in that hour without a single inclination of what to do with myself. The house is too quiet. I am too crazy.

I could unpack but why the hell would I want to deal with dirty laundry. I could air out the camping gear and shake out the red dirt and sand but I think I’ll just leave it there for awhile. I’ll have it there the next time I go out when I’ll be setting up the tent and have the red sand spill over my hands and I’ll remember the red and green lakes I slept next to last night. I could catch up on the hundreds of emails and journal entries I missed being without any communication for these last few days. But no, I’ll save the reading for another time when I can appreciate the telling of other stories. I don’t even feel like talking about Ruidoso and the mountains and the bottomless lakes or even the snow capped mountains I was in the middle of for six great and lonely days. So, I’ll save that for another time when I am interested in the telling of it.

Right now, I think I’d give anything for something simple and familiar to be excited about – a new episode of carnivale, a dipped cone, reading what everyone else did for the holidays but none of it is available or sounds remotely interesting and really the house feels cold. Mostly, I just want to sit and remember. And, to feel the misery of having nothing to look forward too.

So I guess I’ll go to the movies.

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