On Friday, I finally had the chance to see Shawn Mullins live.
It was great to get the chance to see him in person. There is a satisfying moment to hear your favorite songs played live. But one I only get from small concert venues.
A guy named Eddie Elliot opened and I enjoyed him as well.
I spent the early part of this week in Kerrville and Houston. A small trip for work and to take in a small portion of the HOV II Tour ( Susan, Walt, Brandon). The show in Houston was at the Mucky Duck. It’s a great venue for live music. It makes the top of my list of great listening places to see music in Texas. I will get pictures up as soon as I am done renovating the website.
While in Houston, I did try for a few hours to locate my brother but that’s another story. I also took a trip down memory lane and went by the old house. I always feel the need when I am there…just to make sure the place is still where we left it I guess. The house is currently for sale.
My parents built in 1976 for $17,000. Almost 3000 square feet and what was once almost 2 acres of land. I thought about what it might be like to buy it. If Houston wasn’t the armpit of Texas, I might even think about it seriously. It takes days to get the petroleum smell out of my hair and clothes. But the nostalgia of it, to have the house I grew up in again and walk the same hall; flush the same weak toilet; feel the cool brown ceramic tile under my feet; brush my hands over the ridges of spanish stucco and stand under the archways. And, to have the garage apartment with the orange cone wood burning fire place and kitchenette where I used to image I’d live one day when I was older. That apartment is where we lived until the house was finished and where my mother tumbled down the stairs while pregnant with my brother. It has been my running joke for years about what wrong with him. If I weren’t cranky I’d feel whimsical.
Tonight I go to a musical…
Mrs. Robison has passed away.
Anne Bancroft 1931-2005
I have always thought she was incredibly brave and interesting in the parts she played. Let us not forget the sense of humor she must have had married to Mel Brooks.
I will miss her lovely voice.
today is the first day since New years that I’ve felt I could breathe without the pressure of work bearing down on me. Work’s been good but busier than ever before.
I got an email today. A little voice from the past tapping on the screen door. Pictures from a life in progress and though we haven’t spoken in some time, I took a peek. I couldn’t help myself. Not at all. I’d almost forgotten us. Well, the emotion of us.
As I was clicking through the various series of pictures, I thought about how much it actually looked like the life we always spoke about when we were together. Probably one we’d have never had together. And that sort of implies that everything works out for the best in the end. Though at the end of that relationship there was never really any doubt what was best was the end.
There will always be someone who loves you better and there will always be someone who loves better than you.
God bless the broken road that lead me straight to you.
or something like that.
I am thinking about you. I am thinking about me. It’s that time of year. The time when the ghosts of christmas’ past resurrect themselves and quietly take up residence in my empty spaces.
Thankfully, there are too many to fill.
At least I don’t flinch at the phone ringing anymore. I think I finally understand what is meant by “I have nothing to give”. I’ve spent years reflecting on that statement. The conclusion I always came to was …”just to me, you have nothing to give.” I know better what that looks like now. And, maybe, I also understand that everyone can get to a place where there is nothing left inside to share. I really do understand now. Thank you.
I don’t think it’s any being less of a real person but I see how it might look from the outside. Inside, is brimming with feelings, ideas and possibility. There’s never been much that showed on the outside anyway, except the anger. Temper one emotion and they all get censored I suspect.
I don’t know what else to do with myself. There’s no way to be more than I am and no way to give what is not there to give. It’s no secret that emotions are often confusing and there seems to be no getting around it ever.