Tag Archive | memories

Shawn Mullins

On Friday, I finally had the chance to see Shawn Mullins live.
It was great to get the chance to see him in person. There is a satisfying moment to hear your favorite songs played live. But one I only get from small concert venues.

A guy named Eddie Elliot opened and I enjoyed him as well.

I spent the early part of this week in Kerrville and Houston. A small trip for work and to take in a small portion of the HOV II Tour ( Susan, Walt, Brandon). The show in Houston was at the Mucky Duck. It’s a great venue for live music. It makes the top of my list of great listening places to see music in Texas. I will get pictures up as soon as I am done renovating the website.

While in Houston, I did try for a few hours to locate my brother but that’s another story. I also took a trip down memory lane and went by the old house. I always feel the need when I am there…just to make sure the place is still where we left it I guess. The house is currently for sale.

My parents built in 1976 for $17,000. Almost 3000 square feet and what was once almost 2 acres of land. I thought about what it might be like to buy it. If Houston wasn’t the armpit of Texas, I might even think about it seriously. It takes days to get the petroleum smell out of my hair and clothes. But the nostalgia of it, to have the house I grew up in again and walk the same hall; flush the same weak toilet; feel the cool brown ceramic tile under my feet; brush my hands over the ridges of spanish stucco and stand under the archways. And, to have the garage apartment with the orange cone wood burning fire place and kitchenette where I used to image I’d live one day when I was older. That apartment is where we lived until the house was finished and where my mother tumbled down the stairs while pregnant with my brother. It has been my running joke for years about what wrong with him. If I weren’t cranky I’d feel whimsical.

Tonight I go to a musical…

anne bancroft

Mrs. Robison has passed away.
Anne Bancroft 1931-2005

I have always thought she was incredibly brave and interesting in the parts she played. Let us not forget the sense of humor she must have had married to Mel Brooks.

I will miss her lovely voice.

maybe you've been wondering where i've been

today is the first day since New years that I’ve felt I could breathe without the pressure of work bearing down on me. Work’s been good but busier than ever before.

I got an email today. A little voice from the past tapping on the screen door. Pictures from a life in progress and though we haven’t spoken in some time, I took a peek. I couldn’t help myself. Not at all. I’d almost forgotten us. Well, the emotion of us.

As I was clicking through the various series of pictures, I thought about how much it actually looked like the life we always spoke about when we were together. Probably one we’d have never had together. And that sort of implies that everything works out for the best in the end. Though at the end of that relationship there was never really any doubt what was best was the end.

There will always be someone who loves you better and there will always be someone who loves better than you.

God bless the broken road that lead me straight to you.

or something like that.

the season of giving

I am thinking about you. I am thinking about me. It’s that time of year. The time when the ghosts of christmas’ past resurrect themselves and quietly take up residence in my empty spaces.

Thankfully, there are too many to fill.

At least I don’t flinch at the phone ringing anymore. I think I finally understand what is meant by “I have nothing to give”. I’ve spent years reflecting on that statement. The conclusion I always came to was …”just to me, you have nothing to give.” I know better what that looks like now. And, maybe, I also understand that everyone can get to a place where there is nothing left inside to share. I really do understand now. Thank you.

I don’t think it’s any being less of a real person but I see how it might look from the outside. Inside, is brimming with feelings, ideas and possibility. There’s never been much that showed on the outside anyway, except the anger. Temper one emotion and they all get censored I suspect.

I don’t know what else to do with myself. There’s no way to be more than I am and no way to give what is not there to give. It’s no secret that emotions are often confusing and there seems to be no getting around it ever.

voting

I am trying to think of something to write. Seems kind of pointless if you have to force it. The thing is, I spend so much time in my car or somewhere else thinking just how I’d write the thing, anything, but by the time I get here it gets lost in the void.

So, I was out near Huntsville for a couple of days. Huntsville looks like the places of my childhood in Houston. Tall pine trees, black asphalt, and pine needles blanketing every inch of ground. Of course I took some of the area back roads on my way back home. I did manage to find my way back to that large Sam Houston statue off of 45. I’ll get those pictures up soon. Sam Houston’s face was in an amphitheater was almost as tall as me. In any event, being in that area reminds me of home, my mom, my brother, and even John.

I don’t want anyone to panic but my mother voted for Bush. It came as a pretty big surprise. She wrote this gracious email saying how disappointed I must be and how she a David voted against the amendment. Then she said she’d call me later. She did, said she did in fact place her highly precious Ohio vote for Bush because she thought Kerry was a wimp. She said Bush was better for our security. Keep him there, keep the terrorist at bay. I blame her military upbringing.

You know, there is the right, the left, the compassionate conservative but what the hell do you call a live and let live liberal, who doesn’t believe in social reform and votes for the phantom of national security? We had a lively and respectful conversation. She said David’s vote cancelled her anyway. I was amazed to hear her say that it was the first time she’d voted since Nixon.

I also had to stop listening to talk radio for awhile. I need a break from the anger. The news just weighs me down. It is very suppressing right now. Now it’s Jay Leno and Late Night fluff for me.

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